Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
