i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
