Pappa wants mamma naked
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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