Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
