spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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