yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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