Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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