im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
