called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
