I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Two words: nipple clamps
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