You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
