he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
