if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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