i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
