I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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