I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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