You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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