Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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