kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
