A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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