I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
