Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
