I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
