How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
