I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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