I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
