It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
