Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
