went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
