My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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