HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
