I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
