Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
