In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
