He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
