Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
