Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
