Sponge bath it is.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He literally asked permission to hit on me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
