Plan B is the new Plan A
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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