And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
