If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
