that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
