I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
