Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
