I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
