her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
there is glitter all over my balls
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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