How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it's like iHOP with fire
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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