yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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