I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
