I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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